Monday, November 10, 2014

If you think I haven't been there...Think again!

I've been living without a thyroid for almost 13 years..the diagnosis of thyroid cancer was scary, but what came after was nothing shy of a nightmare.

I get messages everyday (yes I read and respond to them all) some say, I'm an inspiration and they look forward to someday living a happy symptomless life...some want to know how I can be energetic and happy all the time..and some want to blast me telling me I don't know how awful it is.

Trust me, I know.. I just didn't have this page 13 years ago. Living without a thyroid is something I've become used to, but it hasn't been easy. I still have days that I'm tired and symptomatic, I'm not cured. And last I checked my thyroid is still missing.

If you have thyroid disease or lost your thyroid, it's not easy. I can only describe it as being handed a new identity with no instructions on how to live your new life. It's a guessing game every morning when you wake up which symptoms will be present.

I spent years dealing with the stress and pain this has caused me. Years I'll never get back and years I'd rather forget. The anger and sadness consumed me...everything was my thyroids fault...


I've found myself at the bottom of what seemed like an endless pit so many times..I've wanted to give up SO.. MANY.. TIMES!! I've screamed and cried and blamed and screamed some more and guess what?  Everyday when I wake up nothing has changed..I will never have a thyroid..I will always take medication. The end.

Being angry was taking more away from me in life than losing my thyroid, it was turning me into a person I hated...I was living a life I hated...I was just surviving.

But it's so hard to be happy, when you feel so bad all the time... You are not alone!

I've asked for help and found myself sitting in front of a team of people who thought I was crazy!   I've had thoughts cross my mind that I never want to admit to anyone.. Pretending those thoughts don't exist doesn't make things better...But you will push through it, I know you will.

It took A LOT to accept that this was the new me..deciding not to let this determine my lifestyle was hard, it's a lot easier to stay mad.. than to suck it up everyday..

Having issues with your thyroid is not just's hell. Unless you have been there, there is no way to ever fully understand.

I've been there..over and over..I've climbed and fought my way to the top of that hole countless times, because I'm worth it!!  I'm here to tell you, it is possible to live the life you want.

 I have been there!!

YOU can do this...